Ciao Adios, I’m done…

Tell her she’s pretty, tell her she’s amazing, tell her everything she wants to hear…. then sleep with her and fuck her off. Standard modern behaviour. I guess women can do this too, I wouldn’t know seeing as how I am not a dick head. 

And yes the woman in question does have low self esteem and a bit of attention from guys she didn’t think were dick heads goes a long way. 

Not all men are dicks… I don’t think anyway?? I’m yet to meet a none dickish guy. But anyway, people tell me they are out there and I have to believe in this. 

Nowadays it seems like it’s the done thing to whisper sweet nothings into another ears and when they do get physical… they then fuck you off and think it’s exceptable. AND THEN go on to tell people there’s no one decent out there. 

AHEM!!!!!! You my friend are a dick head. There is no one decent out there because you can’t see past your genitalia!!! And treat the decent ones like absolute shite! 

And when someone is feeling lonely or unattractive or even just low, hearing someone saying your beautiful and funny and amazing is such a good thing to hear. This generally makes them blind to the fact they are about to be used. Instead they are thinking of skipping off into the sunset together. And the reality is they just wanted a bang and then never speak to you again or pretend it didn’t happen and try being your mate again. 

Well it’s hurts. Especially if you didn’t think they were dick heads. I write this from the female perspective but I assume there are men out there that feel this way too. Women can be dicks too! 

Well I am sick of being the girl who falls for the sweet talk and the attention when it suits them. No thank you! 

I am wiser and guarding against the shit! 

Ciao Adios, I’m done 

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One is the loneliest number…

In some ways, one is the loneliest number. I find myself trapped in my own mind when I’m alone. I taunt myself with negative thoughts and feelings. I corrupt good memories and twist them to see things that weren’t there. I allow my paranoia to take over and shatter the reality. One is lonely when you are your own worst enemy. 

Hello. My name is Mel and I suffer with depression. (Heads up… this ain’t a happy post). 

Some days can be amazing. I can have the best day ever and it can all come crashing down the next day. Why? 

Well according to my doctor, my happy little enzymes are being blocked and are not making it through the happy door. Shitty little enzymes. 

I say I have paranoia, which is true. (No I’m not a pot head). But not in the sense of someone is out to get me or I’m being followed etc. But in a sense that I think people hate me or are talking about me. I also twist myself up thinking people avoid me. And I know that I do it. I’m not oblivious to my mental health. I know there is nothing to be depressed about. That doesn’t stop it happening. 

It really pisses me off when people say they don’t believe in depression or it’s not a recognised illness. Go back into your narrow minded little hole! 

A friend once said to me “anyone can train to fix a broken leg or a heart problem. I want to help fix the brain”. She is studying to be a mental health nurse and I’m really proud of her. She gets it. 

That’s another thing that pisses me off. I’ve heard general nurses taking the piss out of mental health nurses saying things like they are not proper nurses. Well it’s mental health nurses that will save lives just through talking to someone. By taking the time to listen. 

Oh iv gone off on a tangent…. oops. 

I forgot the point I was making. 😂😂😂

Anywho…. I wrote this because I am sat alone and my mind started racing and twisting and I thought writing it out might help me. Well it did 🙂

My pointless post about depression 😂😂😂 

What is wrong with me…?

Many times I ask myself this question, along with others that put myself down. I find myself thinking I’m not good enough, pretty enough, funny enough or even tolerable. Well this needs to stop. There is nothing wrong with me. It’s you! I allow other peoples opinions and judgements to effect me. But I shouldn’t. There is nothing wrong with me. I am reliable, honest, kind, genuine and a good person. I put others before myself even when they don’t deserve it. I see the good in people even when they have hurt me. I will always be there for people and try my hardest to pick them up when they are down. So.. what is wrong with you? I’m awesome! 

Fat to fit…

This is my new motto! Shed the fat and get fit. 

So my fit bit arrived and I love it. My work friends have them so we have little challenges to see who can do better. I am actually getting out and moving. It’s a small start but I am enjoying walking with friends. Plus it helps with my mental health and releases those happy endorphins 😂 and I’m going to get my treadmill out!! 

Small steps to beat the fat! I’m starting to eat right and enjoy cooking more. (As I write this, I forgot I’ve got chicken in the oven… crispy chicken it is). But it’s a start 😂

So the mission is Fat to Fit!!!! 

Fit bit…

In 2013 I invested in a fit bit to track my exercise. (I didn’t exercise….) It was another fad gadget I had to have. It soon ended up in a draw and then lost. I think it’s in my ottoman in my dinning room. 
But recently a few friends in work have gotten them and I thought why not try it out again. (I still don’t exercise… but I’m going too. Honest.) so I downloaded the Fitbit app and set my phone up as my tracker until I locate my Fitbit. 

Well it has become a massive competition to see who can do more steps in a day. We have set challenges in the app and so far, I am 7th out of 10. This challenge lasts Monday to Friday and the person with the most steps wins that week. So watch this space… then we do a weekend warrior challenge. 

It’s my day off work tomorrow and I want a lie in and chill. But no.. the team have decided we are going walking. I’d say no to going and roll over and not even think about it. But I’m 7th!!! I can’t let them speed past me! So I’m getting up early and walking the walk! 

Moral of the story is don’t get a Fitbit. They are addicting!! 

The skinny craze….

Like most people, I want to loose weight. Yes it’s not going to happen sitting on my butt. But… it’s also not going to happen by investing in anything that has the word ‘skinny’ in front of it. Skinny tea and skinny coffee is the new thing at the moment. 

I am not talking from a scientific view… by all means it could make me drop 3 dress sizes just by drinking it…. but it’s the fact that it’s ‘skinny’. Our day in age, we all want to be ‘skinny’. And brands know this so try to use the word to get us to buy their crap. Skinny this and skinny that. How about the word healthy. We all want to be healthy. 

Well here is my big fat caramel latte!!! 

😂😂😂😂

Recording good deeds…

This really annoys me. By all means do a good deed. But why do you have to film it and post it on social media. Flicking through my news feed on Facebook, I see videos of people posting their good deeds and it being shared and going viral. A good deed shouldn’t need to be broadcasted. The feeling of a good deed should be enough instead of seeking glory on the internet. 

That isn’t a good deed. That’s glory seeking and attention seeking. Yes it benefits another person but to make you look amazing to others online. Not to just be a good person. 

I hold doors for people, I help people who drop things, I give money to buskers and the homeless. I do not record myself doing it and post it online. I do this to help people. 

It really annoys me!