My UFI… 

Unidentifiable flying insect. 

So today I went to town with a friend and just chatting and walking round. Next thing I feel a fly near my ear so I waft it away. I then feel it inside my ear and tell my friend. She starts pissing herself laughing but looks in my ear and says she can’t see anything. While in Claire’s accessories I feel something move in my ear. Now my friend and the two shop attendants are laughing at me so I take myself to boots to ask the pharmacist to look in my ear. They tell me to go to the opticians and see the audiologist. 3 opticians later and the audiologist confirms there is a bug in my ear. So after my friend telling me I’m paranoid and listing a load of mental disorders I could have, I was right. But the audiologist can’t get it out and tells me to go A&E. 

I ring them to be told it’s and hour and half wait. I cannot wait any longer with this bug in my ear. At this point I am freaking out and my friend tells me to work on my breathing while laughing her ass off. 

So I go to my doctors and I am panicking at this point and she asks the nurse to chat to me. This lovely nurse takes me to the room as has a look. She informs me the bug is dead.. ITS STILL IN MY EAR!! So she brings out this water machine and starts squirting water into my ear. All I hear is my friend say she saw it come out. Thank fuck for that!!

So we are all stood round the sink looking at this bug that was in my ear and we have no idea what it is. But it’s out and I have a very clean ear 😂😂😂

This is the little shit who violated my ear!! 

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